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Jan-ken-pon #116 – Tomio’s Twenty Favorite (extra) Terrestrials – A visual tour.
December 17th, 2008
I’ve been thinking aliens a bit, and for no reason that I can pinpoint. I haven’t read or watched anything recently that had aliens, but I thought it would be fun to run down some of my faves with a brief reason why with visual aids!
There are a couple that are not on here that I know many people view as quintessential so let me get this out of they. I don’t give a damn about the original Trek. Don’t get me wrong; Khan is a badass but man those original TV shows are torture for me. I do love me some DS9 though, as it’s one of my favorite shows ever! I like Dr. Who, but I don’t love Dr. Who. You will also see a lack of examples from literature. I’ve read more SF books than I care to admit but through the process I just found that examples from when I was very young, and particularly visual examples were the ones that seemed to dominate my thoughts while compiling the list. So no knock on great examples by people like Brinn, Clarke, etc (don’t forget Leiber short fiction – he’s a pimp in SF to, not mention horror!). I also enjoyed all of the Aliens movies, but oddly enough the Aliens themselves don’t really do anything for me.
I also want to add that I certainly don’t consider myself as having encyclopedic knowledge of aliens, and thus I assume some obvious, worthy candidates aren’t listed here. This was just what I was feeling in about 20 minutes of searching my feelings, Luke.
On with it!
My recent chat with Jeff VanderMeer about Predator made me rewatch the original movie and I just remember watching movies like this Cobra, Rambo, Commando, Romancing the Stone, American Ninja (remember the laser?!) – those action/adventure flicks that EVERYBODY had seen then as everybody essentially watched the same television shows as we didn’t live in an in-demand world.
What I dug about the movie is that really it’s a military film that suddenly becomes a death match with an Alien. Siskel doesn’t agree:
Tell him Ebert! We can’t remember last week’s movies! Let me tell, when this movie came out, kids and grown men alike were imagining they had infrared vision!
Robotech.com says that Khyron earned the name ‘backstabber,’ and has the penchant for needlessly expending troops which is obviously exactly who a technologically advanced alien race would put in command of a battle group. Listen to the command talk about him:
Needless to say this is my damn boy right here.
Khyron the Destroyer!
One of my favorite Marvel characters. The guy surfs through space and his first appearance is iconic, Marvel history in the pages of Fantastic Four. He also graces one of the greatest covers ever
This include Galvatron. When this guy finally did Prime in the animated movie I threw a party. After years of watching him toy with that pansy, do-gooder, Optimus, I finally got justice! Not to mention did you see him just take Jazz in the recent live-action film (another example of a brotha not being able to make it through a movie)?
Best ever, though?
As Galvatron when he finally takes out this pesky SOB:
That’s what I’m talking about!
Tell the truth, he’s the alien ‘Chappy’ from Iron Eagle. This movie is classic!
My favorite Trek character. The guy is a just straight up Bond in the Roddenberry setting. Obsidian Order/Tailor?
There has never been a character that talked so much, said nothing, but still spoke volumes. Just watch an episode he’s in, it’s like he’s playing his own game within the context of the show.
It’s not all an understatement to say that this guy helped bring Star Wars back. As I was reading Zahn’s trilogy, I was actually hoping this guy succeeded. One of 12 Imperial Grand Admirals, the only non-human one, and Warlord of the Empire? Damn just wanting him to succeed – I wanted to be him!
I’m not even sure if the guy is an alien, but I’d never felt like I was in the presence of an alien more than when confronted with the Weaver from the pages of Perdido Street Station by China Mieville.
One of my favorite creations/characters ever.
I know he I supposed to appeal to a part of me that I was supposed to have grown out of, but damn all that! From Gardens of the Moon to Toll the Hounds, this guy is a baller and Erikson successful makes the saga – for a moment – all about him.
Give me more melancholic, immortal, mage/warrior walking around with Swords forged by Gods who has variations of his names extolled in every corner of the world. It must be nice to be living when bards are singing odes about you that are already ‘epic’.
From my favorite STNG episode! I just loved this guy as it was an unfathomable ideas trying to live mundane but not so drawn out as the curiosity that was Q (who is a pimp to). Horrific, and heartbreaking; sad but understandable – and I loved how Picard dealt with the dude.
I don’t like DragonBall Z. At all. The reason why I have to give these bastards props though demands that they are on this list. There was a time that my friends and I played Spades obsessively. Every night after we did whatever we did we would all got one of a couple of houses and just play Spades like everything depended on it. While we played we’d often have the TV just own for background noise and I swear that for like two weeks, everyday night we were playing spades one of these Saiyans was battling some ugly dude for TWO DAMN WEEKS worth of shows and games. Literally, these dudes were hammering each other, destroying planets, and just doing each other and it was one of the most surreal things I’d ever seen.
I’ve said this before, but one of the damn coolest things ever is that on the occasion that the Autobot City on earth is being invaded by Decepticons (including the Constructicons – who are a damn handful) Optimus shows up with reinforcements. Not with a damn army, or even a dozens of his boys – but the Dinobots. Just the Dinobots, and it’s hardcore.
You’d think Superman, right? I love me some last son of Krypton, but all I have to say is best movie sequence ever!
Well . . This will do
First, Dark City is one of the best SF movies ever. Second, the Strangers are absolutely mobster.
I will not, however, swear that Jennifer Connelly’s presence has no sway here.
You know, I always here these stories about guys that never thought about women until like High School or something. Man, I was like 8 thinking I needed to mack the man-eating lizard chick with a spaceship.
Sacrilege and sexy!
Little known fact (the world wants to know!). I have probably seen The Great Muppet Caper more times than any other movie.
Photographic essay on knee caps!
A lot of people see me mention the Infinity Gauntlet quite a bit, and non-comic readers are probably baffled. Thanos Quest and Infinity Gauntlet rank among my favorite Marvel stories ever. Basically, Thanos collects a 6 gems that each grant him power over one facet of the universe: Time, Space, Mind, Soul, Reality and Power. Thanos puts them on a fashionable glove and gains the mantle of omnipotence. The first thing he does is just kill half of the sentient life in the universe.
That’s Tomio style right there.
I don’t think new bucks can properly understand just how huge E.T. was. The image of the bicycle with moon backdrop is an image that symbolizes childhood adventure, and movies.
That music is classic!
Make fun of me if you want but Pitch Black was gangster! I went searching for some dual-blades 20 minutes after I was out of the theater. Such classic film lines as, “so why don’t you butch up, stuff a cork in this fucking kid, and let’s go” can’t be denied.
Looks like ambidexterity, two weapon fighting and at least improved two-weapon fighting right there pre-epic!
My girl. Green hair, ace pilot, leader of the Quadrono forces and gives it up to be with another ACE pilot Max Sterling.
Still gives me chills!
Double the pleasure, Khyron and Miriya:
Well, that’s it – I hope you enjoyed! What are some of your favorites?
*I could not bring myself to talk about Species and Natasha without embarrassing BookSpot Central irrevocably .
Jan-ken-pon is the time traveling, force-walking, multiverse crossing column of Jay Tomio, owner of 1/3 of everything you see currently on screen and the editor of Heliotrope. He smacked Battle Cat back to Cringer. Some call him the Bodhisattva.