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CSI: Miami – “Dude, Where’s My Groom?” – Review
As a guy, and a married one at that, I always have the same idea when it comes to bachelor parties: you ought to have one the night before a first date with any lady. If she’s the one, by the time you’ve popped the question, chances are you are way past strip clubs and lasciviousness. Thus, the bachelor party thing is only a recipe for disaster.
We certainly have a disaster in the making here in Miami. On her big day, Bride-to-be Kim is distraught: her fiancé is missing. How can he do this to me? If he’s not dead, I’ll wring his neck. Yikes. But wait. We have two guys, passed out in a fountain, handcuffed together, one holding a bottle of champagne, the other sporting a child’s floatie. Certainly a bad bender, but what puts things in a darker light is the red blood floating in the water. Is the groom one of these guys? Calleigh gets her turn at the pre-credit quip:
Kim: Is Charlie dead?
Calleigh: I honestly don’t know.
The two wet drunks, Jack and Sean, are Charlie’s groomsmen. But you’d better be quiet: they have a splitting headache. Tripp doesn’t care about mere discomfort. He ups the ante and Speaks Very Loudly at the two discombobulated guys. Man! I love Tripp. This man needs more screen time. Dumb and Dumber, as Jesse dubs the two wet drunks, get their old cuffs removed and new ones in place. He tells them that just because they don’t remember what happened last night, it doesn’t mean they’re not guilty.
After a tox screen reveals Dumb and Dumber ingested a drug that eliminates short-term memory, Jesse and Calleigh return the duo to a room charged to their credit card. Once there, they find a woman’s undergarment. Since D&D don’t know where it came from, Jesse is Johnny on the spot: Yeah, I recognize the logo. It’s from a new strip club, Perspire, and, uh, well, that’s what Walter told me. Calleigh’s response: a raised eyebrow. Right on, sister!
Jesse and Calleigh question a stripper, Carmel, who quickly gives Jesse a new nickname: Dimples. Now, I have to tell you, that little tag was ripe for some interoffice ribbing. I’m surprised the writers didn’t have Calleigh share Jesse’s new name with the rest of the team. You know Ryan and Walter would’ve had a field day with that. Missed opportunity for some great humor.
What was not missed in the surveillance footage from the club was Kim. She was keeping tabs on her future hubby. She saw him head into the VIP lounge with Carmel. Horatio reminds her that she now has motive. Meanwhile, Jesse and Calleigh are still taking Sean and Jack on the Tour of Last Night. It seems one of them had to get bailed out of lock-up. Sean was the one who got arrested, and Clay Bennett was the man who called it in. Mr. Bennett is a rich guy (natch) trying to get to the first tee when Horatio and Ryan waylay him. Sure, Bennett says, those three clowns were at my house last night. I had my security guards escort them out. Then why was only Sean arrested? Because the other two stole my limousine. “Grant theft limo,” Bennett says. I’m thinking, no, he really didn’t just say that, did he?
They find the limo, and the security guard dispatched by Bennett is inside, dead. Well, that explains the blood on Jack and Sean. Now the only problem is to figure out which one did it. The guard’s head was beaten by the door of the limo. The fingerprints are smudged but not the little detail of hand placement. The killer was left-handed. Now we get to use one of the Top 10 Cop Tricks: have both suspects write something. Bingo! Jack’s a southpaw. But both go down. Sucks to be the married, soon-to-be dad Sean. Calleigh throws a small bone at him: maybe your lawyer can get you off on account of impaired judgement.
Not minutes after the big bust, Tripp lets Jesse know about Carmel: she’s just quit her job at the club and she’s on the move. Jesse and Calleigh stop her and Jesse conducts an unlawful search when he grabs her bag and finds the Scopolamine vial. Why’d you do it, Carmel? Some old guy with a southern accent paid me. Uh-oh. The only one who fits that description is…Kim’s dad. Yup, he copped to it. He tried to pay off Charlie to leave. There was only one problem: Kim and Charlie loved each other. For a few tense moments, no one knows if Charlie is alive until a Coast Guard helicopter finds him, adrift on a raft. Damn, that’s cold on the dad’s part. The not-yet-married couple have their special moment and the scene fades out while Horatio, shades on, stands in front of the setting sun.
Not the strongest episode of the season but still enjoyable. The team chemistry is gelling pretty well now and the new ME (Christian Clemenson) is back and out of the morgue. Very good to see him. As I mentioned before, the writers missed a great opportunity to have Calleigh and the team to give Jesse “Dimples” Cardoza no end of grief over the new nickname. And the tete-a-tete between Ryan and Walter over Mr. Bennett’s “special” painting was pretty humorous. I’ve admitted that I didn’t particularly enjoy Walter after the first episode he was in, but he’s growing on me, so much so that I’m enjoying his scenes. Natalia was back this week but didn’t do much. And, no Eric. With the case taking up all their time, they didn’t even allude to him at all.
What did y’all think of the episode? Did y’all pinpoint the culprit before I did? How’s the team chemistry working for you?