World’s Worst Interview: Harry Hunsicker Interviewed by Victor Gischler

On his old, now defunct site, Victor Gischler conducted a series of interviews from the end of 2004 to mid-2005. With his permission BSC will be reprinting his World’s Worst Interview series over the next few days. Sometimes the internet feels temporary, and good content gets lost or forgotten in the rush forward. When possible, we want to blow the dust off of something and bring it back to the front. If you know of something that should be reprinted let me know.

Victor Gischler conducted the following interview with Harry Hunsicker in May of 2005.

Harry’s debut private eye novel Still River is getting great buzz, and Harry himself is one heck of a nice guy. Let’s punish him for being so nice with some really dumb questions:

Victor Gischler:  This is your first book. Man, it must feel great to see it on the shelves in Borders or B&N. Tell us about your novel.

Harry Hunsicker: It’s pretty neat stuff the first time you see your baby in a store. I was light-headed, almost dizzy. Maybe that was the cough syrup, I dunno. Anyway, it’s still really cool.

My story is about a Dallas private investigator with the unfortunate name of Lee Oswald. Along with his sidekicks, a pair of psychopaths who also happen to be gay, Republican gun dealers, Oswald must stop a corrupt real estate developer in order to save the life of his partner.

Great. Now that we have that out of the way, tell us about your underwear.

I read somewhere that Dan Brown always wears a pair of white briefs that say, “I can make the Mona Lisa Smile.” You think that’s true?

Me? I’m a boxer guy.

Texas, huh? Are you a pure Texan? Do you have armadillo-skin boots and all that?

I’m 100% Texan. My boots are made out of used oil wells. Here in the Lone Star State, oil wells are fabricated from spotted owl bones and EPA regulation books.

I’d like to ask you now about one of the most important issues of our time:    BBQ. Dry or wet? Gas or charcoal? Ribs or steak or chicken? Be specific, dammit. This is VERY important.

I’m a charcoal guy all the way. Screw Hank Hill and his propane-selling ass. Gas sucks. (And why doesn’t Hank just kick Dale’s butt once and for all, huh?) I cook a pretty good brisket. It takes about three days to do it right, but damn, is it tender. The secret is to buy one with a lot of fat on it. And make sure you’ve got enough beer.

Do you push your agent to make foreign sales based on where you’d like to go for vacation?

Have you ever seen the inside of a Swiss prison? Well I haven’t, either. As far as you know. But I bet it’s really…well-organized.

Bruce Springsteen or Pink Floyd?

The Boss, all the way.

Bill Crider and I like ABBA. Wouldn’t you like to be in our ABBA club?

Bill and I were talking about the ABBA club last Saturday at Murder By The Book (www.murderbooks.com) in Houston. We also talked about your  future role in the organization. Bill is very disappointed. That thing with the KC & the Sunshine Band groupie…have you no shame? I will never look at Pop Rocks or Wesson oil the same again.

Do you think a lemur could take an armadillo in a fight? I mean, if they both had knives of course.

Lemurs are some mean son-of-a-guns. Then again, most armadillos are too, what with the heat and getting run over all the time. And armadillos carry Bowie knives and leprosy. But they are stupid. (They’re armadillos for pete’s sake!) And lemurs are crafty. I’m gonna go with lemurs.

Why crime fiction instead of sci-fi or romance or whatever?

I write what I like to read. Plus, every time I tried to write a romance it was always about a hooker who kills somebody. One time I tried a sci-fi story. It was about a space hooker. Bad stuff, all the way around.

Tell us all about your next project.

A long time ago Oswald made a choice that resulted in the death of his best friend. Even though he believed his course of action was the correct one, he has been haunted by his decision ever since. Now the same scenario presents itself again. Only this time the stakes are higher. What does he do?

Thanks, Harry. Good stuff. Visit Harry at his website!

And BSC Review would like to thank Victor Gischler for the generous use of this interview series!

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Victor Gischler is the author of 4 hard-boiled crime novels. His debut novel Gun Monkeys was nominated for the Edgar Award, and his novel Shotgun Opera was an Anthony Award finalist. His work has been translated into Italian, French, Spanish and Japanese. He earned a Ph.D. in English at the University of Southern Mississippi where they beat him with rolled up newspapers and fed him raw liver. His fifth and sixth novels Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse and Vampire a Go-Go were published by the Touchstone/Fireside imprint of Simon & Schuster.