CSI: Miami – “Count Me Out” – Review

With few exceptions, American police procedurals are straight-forward television drama with little changes here and there, never enough to upset the balance. Week in and week out, you pretty much know what you are going to get: crime, usually murder, is committed, sifting through clues, red herrings thrown in, a chase or two, and the bad guy is caught and the cops celebrate. The three CSI shows fall into this general category. They are the equivalent of comfort food for the eyes and brain after a long day.

That’s why I really enjoy when the writers come up with something different. They did so in episode ten, “Count Me Out.” They gave us a game-changing event for one character, but, first, they gave us a nifty panning shot–sans music–of an empty warehouse. Jesse and Walter are there, guns drawn. With no warning, Jesse raises his gun in Walter’s direction. There is yelling. There is gunfire. There is a cut with the words “Eight hours earlier.” Good hook to catch the casual viewer and more than enough for us CSI: Miami fans to want to know more.

Eight hours earlier, Jesse and Walter were playing one-on-one basketball, having the time of their lives. A police cruiser blows by, in pursuit of a fleeing vehicle. Jesse and Walter grab their badges and guns and help out, sweaty shirt and all. Jesse establishes a position behind the vacant police car–those officers went in pursuit of the passenger who fled just as the car stopped–and tells the driver, Kevin, to get out. The young man complies but can’t come up with a decent story as to why there is a dead body in the trunk of the car.

Horatio and Jesse find no blood in the trunk. They do, however, find pink insulation. Dr. Tom Loman, the ME, lets the team know that a chemical agent caused the victim, Christopher Perez, a census worker, to die a uniquely agonizing death. Ryan, Natalia, Calleigh, and Jesse all go to Perez’s last known street where he was canvassing a neighborhood. In a nice nod to continuity, Jesse apologizes to Natalia for standing her up a couple of episodes back.

Natalia: “Something came up?”
Jesse: “Yup.”
Natalia: “That something in a sequined dress?”
Jesse: “It’s my business.”
Natalia: “Whatever.”

Yikes. Seconds later, Ryan tries to pair Jesse and Natalia together to walk one side of the street. Natalia overrules him and pairs herself with Ryan. Calleigh, a smirk on her face, eyes Jesse and says, “I take it this happens to you a lot.” Dang funny stuff.

What wasn’t very funny was the reaction a homeowner, Mrs. Olsen, had to Jesse and Calleigh. As the CSIs were questioning Marie, a young Haitian woman who was washing a car, Mrs. Olsen storms out of her house and gets all uppity with Jesse and Calleigh. To say Mrs. Olsen was “anti-government” would be an understatement. Look, I don’t mind writers creating little scenes here and there that have some political overtones. But, with the Mrs. Olsen character tonight and the health-care comment an episode back, you can tell where the writer’s political sentiments are. Memo to the writers: a little subtlety wouldn’t kill you.

Natalia and Ryan find a house and, through a window, they see pink insulation. They also see a hidden foreclosure sign. They enter and, after taking a look at all the chemicals in the house, determine it’s a meth lab. A meth lab that’s on fire and about to explode. Boom! And it’s a terrific explosion. Natalia’s caught under a beam of some sort, and Ryan and just-arrived Horatio save her. The look on Horatio’s face as he was putting his entire effort into saving Natalia’s life said it all. The man was not going to lose a fellow officer. He didn’t.

The problem immediately occurs to Horatio and Ryan that the explosion wasn’t just because it was in a meth lab. They find the timing device. The house was rigged. If this house was rigged, they reason, then the place Jesse and Walter are walking into is also rigged. Problem: Jesse and Walter, knowing they’re going into a meth lab and any spark can set off an explosion, turn off their cell phones. Walter opens a wire fence inside the lab, thus setting the clock timer. At the last second, Jesse realizes what’s going on and shoots the clock. Unfortunately, it’s just to the side of Walter’s shoulder. So, the opening scene wasn’t Jesse shooting Walter. It was Jesse saving Walter. My only question is this–if a cell phone incoming call can set off a meth lab, wouldn’t pistol shots be even easier?

Nonetheless, this second near-explosion puts Kevin in a hotter seat than he was to begin with. He admits to being good at chemistry and cooking meth for a guy named “Tech.” Horatio, always one to help out a young lad, is very, very irritated. Kevin’s timeline doesn’t add up. The victim could not have died in the time (30 minutes) Kevin said he did. Dr. Loman corroborates Kevin’s story. It seems the census worker died after he ingested rat poison.

It’s here where we get to see the game-changing event.  Natalia, in the lab, is having some hearing issues as a result of the blast. This is nothing new for a CSI. Gil Grissom, in Vegas, had a hearing loss as a result of disease. Still, this problem, if it persists, could affect Natalia’s job. As the cast member who gets the least amount of screen time (aside from Tripp), I sincerely hope the writers develop this crisis with Natalia. Ryan tries to give her an out, saying he has a ringing in his ears, too. She doesn’t bite.

While processing evidence at the lab, Calleigh notices a scarf that looks like one Marie was wearing in her hair. After questioning her, Calleigh learns that Marie and young Kevin the Driver/Meth Lab Chemist are an item. Kevin’s making meth to earn money to buy Marie’s freedom from Mrs. Anti-Government Olsen. Marie also tells Calleigh about her all-but imprisonment under the dictatorial reign of Mrs. Olsen. Marie drops the name of a location for Tech the Drug Dealer and, after a great open-field tackle, the MDPD nab their guy.

But not before the funniest line of the night. Tripp delivered it, of course. After putting the handcuffs on Tech extra tight, the drug dealer complains. He also does the usual Criminal Scornful Threat, “You have no proof.” Tripp’s reply–”Kevin just gave us your life story in paperback. Slinging bodies, cooking meth, it’s a real page-turner.” I busted out laughing on that one. Writers: if you read reviews like this one, please give us more Tripp.

After lifting a fingerprint from the scarf that was used to poison and kill the census worker, the episode kept the reveal of the killer a bit longer than usual. It was just long enough for me to ponder all the possibilities and even throw in a couple of left field ones (Mrs. Olsen did it!). In the end, Tech was the guy. In the obligatory flashback of the actual events, we get to see how horribly cold-blooded Tech really is. Dang if I didn’t feel a shudder run through me at the utter disregard of human life.

Naturally, the episode ends well. Horatio got his killer (Tech), his drug cooker (Kevin, although you can tell they will try to help the man as much as possible), and even found time to call a local university to get Marie enrolled and into a dorm.

All in all, a pretty good episode. I’m hopeful Natalia’s storyline will continue and give us more screen time for Eva LaRue. She can pull off the torment Natalia will be going through as she deals with her injury and her job. She was the stand-out in this episode. 

What were your favorite moments? Do you like the possibilities for Natalia?