24‘s fifth episode does nothing to speed up the achingly boring pace of the story. As predicted, the post premiere shows slow way down to pay off the expense of the first four hours, though the blowout didn’t really deliver much in the way of explosive action. 24 seems to be suffering from a creative deficit, in which writers have become very comfortable doing paint-by-the-numbers character conflict, and studio execs are unwilling to spend big bucks on a faltering show’s final season. Indeed, the bland set pieces and generic criminal warehouse hideouts are so painfully familiar, that the idea of anything surprising happening is almost unthinkable.
President Omar Hassan has responded to the coup attempt by his brother with a political cleansing in his home country, which we learn is the Islamic Republic of Kamistan. Similar to the fictional Africa country Sengala (Congo/Eritrea), Kamistan is a stand-in for Iran (Pakistan to a lesser extent). I don’t understand why 24 is willing to name China as a villain, but is to timid to name the much less powerful Iran in this formerly “cutting edge” show. Iran is already anathema in this country, so why the cold feet? Omar and President Taylor have a token discussion about open societies versus closed societies. Indeed, President Taylor seems shocked that Omar is rounding up political dissidents after a coup attempt, in a vague reference to the contested elections in Iran.
President Omar is still sporting his ridiculous hair, and still bickering with his family. Anil Kapoor is doing his best to play this part, but his accent comes through clearly at times, belying his Persian role. This family drama, ripped whole cloth from earlier seasons, is the most boring thing out of this entire awful season so far. How can the writers think that anyone could care about these hollow useless characters? Nobody gives a shit about President Omar and his bitchy wife (who will undoubtedly be revealed as a linchpin of the coup) reconciling their marriage, or the protests of his honorable Westernized daughter. Some footage shot in “Kamistan” adds a scant variety to things, but this painful pale Shakespearean imitation of high familial and governmental betrayal and intrigue is going drag out forever, mark my words.
Omar’s treacherous brother is trying to secure his Uranium from the generic Russian gangsters. It is unclear why the Russian mafia would ship the nuclear goods from Russia to New York, and then back to Kamistan/Iran, when Kamistan/Iran and Russia are only a few countries away from each other. The head Russian baddie causes more ridiculous subplots to happen by not allowing his son medical attention for radiation poisoning. His brother breaks Dad’s rules and sticks up a doctor for treatment, and it’s all filler material.
Katee Sackhoff is abused some more as Dana Walsh, who was an “accessory to murder” and spent time in jail (what a secret). Her redneck boyfriend keeps abusing her and blackmails her into using CTU to steal some money. I understand Sackhoff was a beloved character on Battlestar Galactica, and it is scandalous to have her playing such a weak redneck stereotype and reverting to country slang when she gets upset. Shame on you, 24, for wasting a good actress, and for subjecting the viewers to this awful country-fried subplot.
Renee is still hell-bent on suicide, for no apparent reason, and goes crazy undercover trying to reach her old contact (and possibly rapist) Vladimir. It was implied that she cut the goon’s hand off last episode, but now we know it was just his thumb. Talk about deceit through smoke and mirrors; pretty lame, if you ask me. Renee actually uses her real name undercover, which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, and her transformation from bland by-the-book office drone to female Jack Bauer hasn’t been totally sold yet. Jack’s “I’ve been there, and I understand” empathy and paternal concern is ho-hum, and he is getting real tiresome as overprotective father figure running the ridiculous undercover op. The Russian goons frisk Renee (who they suspect is an undercover agent) but don’t take a gander at her ear hole to see the transmitter that Jack uses to send her cover story info.
Speaking of Jack, this time he really doesn’t kill a single person. All he does is get fooled into chasing the wrong car in a weak “what a twist” plot device. He has a new tablet computer, and that’s about it. The writers might be slowing him down to further the Grandpa Jack agenda they are pushing this season. Each season is a year to us, but three to four in show years, which puts us at around twenty plus years later. Kiefer Sutherland doesn’t really seem to age in real life, let alone in this show, though. I appreciate the color scheme of rich red and gold the show has adopted, but there needs to be some more dark red–blood, that is–all over Jack’s murderous hands.
