Desperate Housewives – “If…” – review

Finally! The wait is over, the ladies of Wisteria Lane are back, and all of our questions of the Winter finale episode are answered…sort of.

Gaby: Okay, I had to laugh at Gaby’s dream of her turning into some crazy show mom because it was just too appropriate and hilarious. Well, not totally hilarious due to the fact that Carlos would have left her, Juanita would never call, and they were living on food stamps. But her crazy ambitions and Celia’s horrible auditions were pretty funny.

Lynette: I totally knew that her pushing Celia out of the way would cause a problem with her pregnancy. And her dream of a disabled son was so sweet and endearing and made me all teary, and when she woke up I just knew one of the babies wasn’t going to make it, and it made me tear up even more. However, I do love that Gaby came to reconcile and thank her and everything, since the accident just makes everything else look incredibly petty.

Bree: First of all, even though in her dream of a future with Karl that he cheated on her and their marriage ended, I was still sad he died. I loved how cute and fun and happy they were together, and I gotta admit that their relationship was pretty hot. But I guess it would have ended eventually, and pretty horribly, by the looks of it. However, I do wonder if anyone ever saw the proposal sign at the end of the airplane or if it went into flames as well? But weird that no one mentioned it, or maybe that’s for next week. And even more sad was her thought of Orson being a lonely, lonely man for the rest of his life and obsessed with Bree. So what’s going to happen now? Go back to Orson, who is now possibly paralyzed (thank goodness he’s not blind because that one’s already been done)?

Katherine: Apparently she’s still locked up in a psych ward or something, because we didn’t hear from her at all; weird.

Susan: Okay, so her getting fat after imagining that she stayed with Karl was pretty funny-looking, I gotta say; not as funny as I had imagined but funny nonetheless. And I love that she would have still had the hots for Mike even if she had stayed with Karl (because, I mean, hello, how can you not have the hots for Mike, hottest man on Wisteria Lane!) and would have seen Mike marry off and have a whole new family.

Angie: How in the world was Mona not instantly killed by the plane hitting her? That was a wee bit ridiculous, and clearly Angie and Nick thought the same thing. And Angie’s dream of her secret being out still made no sense! What the heck is her secret?! Clearly a good man died and she was somehow involved and her ex lover is who she was hiding from and she had no idea where he is and she thinks she’d be sentenced to life in prison for what she did, so…come on now, what did she do!!?!?!

So what’s coming next? A stripper Susan? Bree and Orson together? Oh, I cannot wait, can you?