Let’s start off with some lame Persian soap opera filler material this week. Hassan’s daughter is trying to free her secret lover bodyguard, and the two are trying to pull off some sly scheme. Dana Walsh and Agent Ortiz have a fatally stabbed redneck to deal with. Ortiz is pragmatic about the situation, arguing for a quick and easy cover-up, spoken like a true cop. Hastings is briefing the President on the profoundly awful mess with Hassan’s evil brother and the necessity of some macguffin IRK intelligence files. Hastings talks tough with the Chief of Staff about not framing Renee for the mess, and pursuing Farhad as the principle fall guy.
Jack and a soon-to-be-dead CTU SWAT team are headed to pick up poor Farhad, hunted by his own mutinous goons. President Taylor relates this to Omar Hassan, and demands his intelligence files on the goons, who are members of Omar’s secret police. Omar is complaining about a breach of his country’s security, to which President Taylor threatens to attack Kamistan if the nuclear stuff goes off. It is fun to imagine Hillary Clinton and Ahmadinejad having a civil conversation while WMDs are being moved around Manhattan. The romantic bodyguard escapes his captors with ease, and becomes the Muslim good guy du jour, reminiscent of the poor schmuck from season 2. At least Omar is willing to play ball with the Americans now, and Omar’s rambunctious daughter is off to meet her errant rogue agent bodyguard lover at the hotel. Could this all be a double-cross to take the daughter hostage and force Omar’s hand?!?
Farhad is a real idiot, getting shot seconds before CTU shows up in force, blatantly disobeying Hastings. That means it is time for the classic 24 play of the mortally wounded intelligence source. Meanwhile, the terrorist goons are enjoying a cup of coffee at the local diner. Jack tries to help out the medic by screaming in his face. President Taylor takes a moment to do one of her famously boring Cisco commercials, where she video conferences with officials on death toll numbers from the looming terrorist attack. Do they really have to display the possible dead with individual stick figures? President Omar is briefed by the security detail on his philandering daughter helping her bodyguard beau escape. The two are enjoying a little romance in a hotel room, while poor Farhad dies of his wounds. Jack uses a fake Farhad to try and lure the terrorists into attacking a hospital and revealing themselves. Say, that’s a nice change of pace on a predictable twist.
Agent Ortiz and Walsh are having a little bonding time disposing of bodies in the lake, but you can see the hillbilly longing in her eyes as her country-fried ex sinks into the icy depths. A news broadcast about “alive” Farhad being treated at a hospital quickly alerts the terrorist goons, who are planning to play right into Jack’s hands. This is a pretty shady diner they are hanging at. Meanwhile, one of the underlings tries to warn his mom about the impending attack. Why did these goons let this kid hang around the rods? Hasting reinforces the message that, “the hook has been baited.” The lame rookie CTU SWAT leader is acting real nervous, probably because he is about to be so dead, and Jack knows it. You have to hand it to the show for getting all of these balls rolling to the middle-of-the-episode action set piece.
In a rare act of rational logic, the UN building is being evacuated. Is the Chief of Staff trying to put the moves on the President? COUGAR ALERT!!! Talk about a PILF!!! Omar is real open with the President about his daughter, who is getting real carnal back at the hotel, and insists on staying at the UN building. CTU is busy watching the fake medical transport go down. The CCTV in the hospital has ridiculous facial recognition software running on all of the doctors and patients; this would have come in real handy every other season. The terrorists have an ace in the hole, a suicide bomber, and the only one of their number with an average American mom. Renee and Jack share a tender moment. The suicide bomber is immediately picked up on the cameras, while Chloe tries to jam his clearly visible detonator in a shameless repeat from season 5. Wouldn’t you know it, rookie CTU commander is face to face with rookie terrorist.
Time to wrap things up. Omar’s mean wife is being so mean, and she knew about her daughter the whole time; what a breach of trust. Wife’s assistant is in a full burka, way to be real, 24. Underlings have to be totally subjugated, but the President’s wife is free to be as Western as she wants. The hospital showdown is a good set-up, but there isn’t much tension as rookie CTU guy gets rookie terrorist to give him a little strip tease. It is all for naught, as Chloe is able to jam up the suicide vest. You should have seen the look on the goon’s face, “Why didn’t I put a manual detonation trigger on the vest!?” A jump from the window will suffice, and a trip to the barometric chamber. We get a glimpse of some steamy Persian lovemaking, some goons never ever finishing their meal at the diner, and the rookie terrorist planning his final move.
