Lindsay Lohan, Scarlett Johansson, Sofia Vergara – post-Oscars Kimmel

I’ve got a confession to make: I like Lindsay Lohan. She’s a hot mess right now but she’s a hot mess who might have a chance of getting her shit together someday. In terms of my sympathy for celebrities dealing with a host of issues, she falls a lot closer to the Britney Spears end of the spectrum than the Charlie Sheen end.

So why do I say this? Because girlfriend was hilarious on Jimmy Kimmel’s post-Oscars special last night, and it’s a shame because, you know, she could very well be headed off to the pokey in a couple of weeks for that whole grand larceny thing. Not that talent should take precedence over obeying the law, mind you. I’m just saying that if she put more energy into being this appealing and funny and less on taking stuff that doesn’t belong to her, we might see a lot less of Dina and Michael Lohan on our TVs. Doesn’t everyone want that?

Check out the video of La Lohan’s appearance below, where she’s featured in a parody of an 80s exercise infomercial. Other highlights, or lowlights depending on how you look at them, include Kimmel’s blurred out asscrack, Scarlett Johanssen rocking an adorable new haircut, Minka Kelly, Jessica Biel, a weepy Jessica Alba doing probably the best acting of her entire career, Kelly Ripa and the most terrifying fake abs in the history of ever, Eva Longoria, Emily Blunt, and Sofia Vergara continuing her transformation into this generation’s Charo.

Hump it, y’all.