Third DARK KNIGHT RISES Trailer Released: More New Coke

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Remember New Coke? Nah, me neither. I only know it from tales of how bad it flopped in the ’80s, inspiring a decade of regular Coke being called “Coca-Cola Classic.”

We’re at that point with The Dark Knight Rises trailers. The Dark Knight Rises trailer 3 has hit the Internet and, while it hit the spot, it left a bad aftertaste.

Bottom line: Just like with Coke introducing New Coke on the market, The third Dark Knight Rises trailer is trying to fill a market need that’s already over-saturated.

Here’s the taste test. Have a sample yourself, then I’ll tell you how it hit my palate.

So, how was that tasty beverage for you?

My impression is that it’s very similar to The Dark Knight Rises trailer Classic and Diet The Dark Knight Rises, only with a lot more artificial sweetener: Bridges blow up. Tanks smash through things. Tanks fly. Flying tanks shoot at tanks that are smashing through things.

And, to top it off – right after the ominous chanting and under-stated threats that haunt the quietude of the trailer – there’s a cheesy exchange between Catwoman and Batman.

“My mother warned me about getting into cars with strange men,” she says, climbing into the Batmobile. “This isn’t a car,” he rasps back. Then they take flight! See, it’s funny because it was a flying tank all along.

What the H-E-double-hockey-sticks was that sudden shift in tone? Were they contractually obligated to let Joel Schumacher do the final five seconds of the marketing?

Tacking three frames of goony humor onto a full year of brooding mood makes no sense to me. Were they trying to soothe concerned parents with a dash of yuks? “Don’t worry, moms and dads – this isn’t actually about armed insurrection, psychotic vendettas and city-wide slaughter. It’s all jokes and flying tanks, for reals.”

My point to all this?

We’ve already bought our cases of Coke. We don’t need new Coke at this point. Trying to pour something that’s “the same, only different!” at this point just leads to bitching.

And as a final note on that point, we still have over two months of The Dark Knight Rises hype to go.