DEXTER: Yvonne Strahovski, Serial Star

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Apparently Yvonne Strahovski, Chuck starlet, is transferring from the CIA to Miami Metro. The blond bombshell will be filling the sensible shoes of an adviser to Dexter and his brothers – and sister – in blue for the upcoming seventh season.

Oh, and if my fortune-telling abilities are correct, she’ll kill people.

Not as many people as Dexter – oh, no, we certainly can’t have her rivaling the big man’s body count. She would have to go all Burn Notice to do that anyway, blowing up buildings and machine-gunning SUVs. She probably won’t even give creepy old John Lithgow a run for his money.

But mark my words: Yvonne Strahovski is going to lay some sad bastards out leaking.

It’s just only because of the media’s “S.S.O.D.” formula – Same Shit, Only Different – that I say this with confidence. Yes, audiences have become used to seeing Yvonne put bullets in bad guys and, yes, Dexter seasonal guest stars usually wind up being bloodthirsty man-killers. My cocksure call on this is due to lines right from the Interwebs’ dispatch.

Specifically, that “Dexter works with her and begins to wonder if there’s more to this woman than she’s professed.”

And let me clue you in on something, kiddos, in case it hasn’t become searingly obvious: If Dexter wonders anything about anybody, it’s because they’re a killer.

He wondered about his family in season 1, and his brother turns out to be the Ice Truck Killer. He wondered about his artiste fling in season 2, and the crazy skirt starts whacking people.

The math to Dexter‘s narrative formula is simple: “More to X = homicide.”

If this isn’t the case, and Yvonne Strahovski is wasted in a role of “strong, yet sensitive woman with a killer in her past” – because there has to be a killer somewhere in all this – then I’ll be disappointed. Not because I’m wrong, and not just because Yvonne would fill a lack of murderous blondes.

I would be saddened because she would have really stepped up Dexter‘s game on seasonal Big Bads. Last season’s Academic Order of the Apocalypse just didn’t cut the mustard.

Whatever satisfaction seeing Colin Hanks stabbed inspired, it doesn’t even touch the delight of seeing Yvonne Strahovski stab someone else.

One Comment

1. 

   dude029

   June 15, 2012 at 1:47 am

   yeah. Yvonne as Adorable Psycho. Killa.

   Reply