Hugh Laurie Close To ROBOCOP Role; Cranston Reflects On TOTAL RECALL

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The RoboCop remake. Booo. Blah blah blah. The end. [You need more than that, - Ed.]. Fine. RoboCop remake – yeah, you know the one. You may know it from the anticipation that it inspires in your household during conversations similar to “Oh, they’re remaking RoboCop? Please pass the salt. What were you saying?” Yeah, you could say I’m not really keen on this remake. Perhaps unfairly so. But I doubt it. Have you not watched the video I made where I dressed up like Chris Crocker and cried “Leave RoboCop alone!” (24 views and counting, natch)?

Anyway, the fucking RoboCop remake keeps casting pretty awesome people. First up, it cast Gary Oldman. I love him. Then it cast Sam Jackson. I love him like I do my father – in a vaguely terrified fashion.  Then Abbie Cornish. Again, great. Now, THR is reporting, it may be casting Hugh Laurie.

Laurie is one of those guys I really like, but don’t really rate him on his current output: see, in Australia, we get all the British television shows, and all the American (and, for the most part, the Australian stuff is, unfortunately, shite, with a few notable exceptions). Anyway, I grew up loving Black Adder, A Bit of Fry and Laurie and was introduced later to Jeeves and Wooster, and I loved me some Laurie. Weirdly, it was his role as House in whatever that show was called [House - we need to talk about this, Liam, you lazy drunkard – Ed.] that did nothing for me. I’m sure the guy was great in it, but, y’know, he was just being great in a piece of crap. And after being tricked far too many times as a child and young adult, I know better than to go digging through large poops to find precious gems.

Continuing his late career tact of saying “Yes, please,” in his charming, excitably high-pitched British voice, to whatever roles in whatever are offered to him, Laurie has reportedly been offered the role of the CEO of OmniCorp, the evil monolithic corporation that likes paying for robotic law enforcement officers to further its agendas, that then ironically bring them down.

Now, the deal is not signed yet, I hope. And it’s more than likely that Laurie is currently trawling the internet, and just as his agent brings him a large sack filled with RoboCop money, he stops him and says “Wait, no. I shouldn’t do this, a drunk Australian who thought I was really funny in Blackadder Goes Forth thinks I shouldn’t be in this film. I wouldn’t want to disappoint him as he sounds really cool and drunk, and his Mum shouldn’t worry about him, because he’s doing just fine, gawd, stop asking!”

The villainous role sounds similar to that which was played by character actor Ronny Cox in the original Paul Verhoeven-directed RoboCop. Cox is also famous for acting in another Verhoeven film, Total Recall, where he again played the main villain – Cohaagen. You may have heard that this film is getting the remake treatment, too. This time with Bryan Cranston stepping into the Cohaagen role.

Cranston is primarily known for starring in one of the Complex’s favourites, Breaking Bad, and also for probably not being my father. This is another of those remakes that I hold little-to-no anticipation for, not matter how fond of the script Cranston says he is, like in this recent interview with Collider. Really, Cranston doesn’t go much into detail, offering only platitudes (I miss the blunt candor of actors who just say “They brought a dump truck of money to my house”). More importantly to readers of this site, Cranston offers little-to-no information on what we all really want to about – namely Breaking Bad. The interview was clearly done a while ago, as he mentions scenes he is “currently filming” which are from mid-season four.

Why the age of Verhoven remakes is currently upon is anyone’s guess, but one thing is certain: Ronny Cox is some sort of evil wizard, who can only be brought down when the greatest actors of our generation capture his essence and chant the call of Khuent to banish him to the outlands.

Anyway, I’ll keep reading the news on the RoboCop and Total Recall remakes as long as it offers so hope, in the former’s case, that it was just a joke, and in that latter’s, that it’ll offer me some sweet Breaking Bad tidbits.