Ronny Cox Hates Remakes – Listen To Him, New ROBOCOP & TOTAL RECALL

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Ah, RoboCop remake – you just don’t give a fuck, do you?

Seriously, you just might be a super villain masquerading as a film remake. ”Is this just Doctor Doom?” wonders no one, and then also “Will Squirrel Girl show up to stop him?”

No matter how much you have going for you, I’ll just kind of be pissed that you’re happening. And I’m not the only one. Dick Jones doesn’t like you either. And you know what, you just fucked with the wrong guy, RoboCop remake.

Why, you ask? Uh… because he’ll disparage you! In a very collegiate fashion. Take that!

Ronny Cox, who played villain Dick Jones in the original RoboCop has, in an interview with THR, stated that “I hate remakes,” while at the same time saying he “wish[es] them well with them,” presumably being cut before finishing with “because it’s the last thing you’ll ever do…”

The remake, which has amassed far too much talent – I mean – REALLY Gary Oldman, Hugh Laurie, Abbie Cornish and Sam Jackson… Really? Ugh.

Cox, who is busy promoting the BluRay release of Deliverance, was of course needled relentlessly regarding the remake while hoping to talk about something else maybe? “So – how about these things that probably annoy you, Mr. Cox?” said the interviewer in my head when I read their article.

Cox also played the villain in Total Recall, which is also getting a needless remake (and just had another, appallingly shitful looking trailer released this week – which is running under Columbia Picture’s official tagline of: “BUY FIVE FUCKEN TICKETS BECAUSE ‘FUCK YOU’!”) and plans have been announced to soon redo Ronny Cox himself. The actor and musician’s life will be remade to appeal to a younger, hipper, edgier audience with stupider tastes, shorter attention spans, and a boundless appetite for blandness/EXPLOSIONS!

We can’t call him Ronny Cox anymore, that sounds too rude and WAAAAYYY outdated, yo! He will henceforth be known as Blizzard Nightcloak. And he isn’t just an actor/musician – he’s a world champion Uno AND Yu-Gi-Oh! master and environmental activist. Plus, he has a cool sideways hat.

Man, Blizzard Nightcloak is just the fucken coolest ever.

What? There was an original Blizzard Nightcloak?? Pfff. Bet my GRANDAD loved that. That’s so 2000-lame.

One Comment

1. 

   Joe_HTH

   June 29, 2012 at 11:59 am

   “and just had another, appallingly shitful looking trailer released this week”

   Typical internet fucktard shitting on an obviously great trailer due to some misplaced loyalty to the highly overrated, cheesy original. The latest Total Recall trailer looking great and you good and fucking well knowing. Stop being a mindless drone who shits on something, simply because it seems to be the cool thing to do. The original Total Recall was filled with bland direction, cheap sets, awful dialogue, horrible one-liners, and poor acting. It doesn’t deserve the adulation people like you bestow on it, just like the remake doesn’t deserve to be shit on from people like you.

   Reply