Of the upcoming shows, we have PARTNERS, ELEMENTARY, VEGAS and MADE IN JERSEY. You can probably deduce which one is the comedy, Watson.

OUTLAW EMPIRES: Kurt Sutter is the Caesar of crime TV for this generation - he has fortune and glory on his side. Better yet, he has some friends in low places on his side too.

CSI: MIAMI: Sure enough, here's Horatio Caine taking it in the teeth.

COSMOPOLIS: Things do come from horror and despair, Rob. Glad we're seeing eye to eye on that one, buddy.

CHICAGO FIRE: I'm predicting right now that in seven years, we'll be announcing the launch of a spin-off, Chicago Fire: Arson Unit.

CALI: That's right, TWILIGHT haters. You now have a reason to put down your hard-earned lucre on a movie starring Bella. She makes a snuff film.

THE CLIENT LIST: Now we have male underwear models paying for Cinemax-style lovemaking sessions, propelled by a plot that's less The Scarlet Letter and more Days Of Our Lives.

3rd Street Promenade's Kitson in Santa Monica, CA, and venues online now sport a gallery of DARK KNIGHT attire that looks like it was designed by Banksy's bastard son.

ROOKIE BLUE: We all knew it would happen. Nolte, Busey, Cage - all our great beast-men have spent time with iron around their wrists. Now it's Shatner's time.

It all leads up to the BREAKING BAD final season, BREAKING BAD season six, which will surely spell doom for many a beloved character.