Comments on: G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra | Eli’s Plot Twist

By: Nathan

Nathan — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 05:19:39 +0000

The dark knight is the absolute best storyline, best actors (except for rachel), that could be put into one movie. You can hate on other movies except this one. When ever I thought this movie was at it’s peak, it kept going. Heathlands ledger prepared for his part like a pro and acted it. The joker could not have been played by anyone better than someone who locks themselves in a room for 30 days. The whole storyline was well placed together. It seemed like something I would read in one of the original comics.

By: Nathan

Nathan — Sat, 02 Jul 2011 05:09:46 +0000

This whole critic review is false, this review was done by a sexist woman who is only reviewing this based on the things she hates. This review was horrible, only talking about the way she hates the characters and not focusing on the plot of the movie at all.

By: Eli

Eli — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 04:33:09 +0000

wolverqueen, you’re codename is PlantyMcPlant Plant. Take your studio talking point wares elsewhere. Let’s break it down shall we?

-step one, name drop Transformers

-step two, name the selling points of the film
“hot checks” “great tits” “mad action” “ridiculous stories” who talks like this? Studio public relations hacks, thats who. Your speech tries to sound hip and progressive, but is so analytic and on message its stiff and obvious.

-step three – more franchising, Snake Eyes (he is like Wolverine kids)

-step four – more franchising, unsubstantiated endorsment of main characters.

-step five – the DVD will be even better, you should go buy the DVD John Q Public, “good one Sommer” yeah right, endorsing the sequel.

step six – blanket dismissal of critics with more fake hip progressive buzz words- “Haters – get your hands of(sic) your tackle and get a life

The studios released some fake positive reviews to aintitcool before the film came out, and the language and stiff semantics were almost identical to wolverqueen’s pro-studio nonsense. It might work if it weren’t so glaringly obvious. You can use ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ words all you want, but you don’t sound the least bit believable. At least your post is worth a good laugh.

By: wolverqueen

wolverqueen — Sat, 15 Aug 2009 22:25:41 +0000

Second best film ever made, after Transformers 1.
As if hot chicks, great tits, mad action and ridiculous stories is a bad thing?
Snake Eyes rocked, fight scene as a kid rocked.
Duke and Ripcord good pairing.
Can’t wait for the directors cut extended version – good one Sommers – bring on GI Joe 2
Haters – get your hands of your tackle and get a life

By: what??

what?? — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 16:50:03 +0000

What a horrible pile of shit this movie was. I was a HUGE fan of GI JOE as a kid and seeing what they did to it made me want to puke. Seriously, I walked out of the theater so pissed off at what I had just seen that I wanted to punch someone in the mouth. I wish they had never made it. I am hopeing that this movie will disappear into obscurity along with “the punisher” with dolph lungren only to be redone right in a few years. What a joke!!!

By: GI PIGSTY

GI PIGSTY — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 20:22:14 +0000

if you enjoyed this movie, you enjoy paint running down a wall, or maybe shitting your pants as a hobby. Two hours I can’t get back. How do you explain the Vipers feeling no pain, then yelling as they get hit by things ??? Hmmm ??

By: paul

paul — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 14:44:09 +0000

pawn65 says:
August 10, 2009 at 9:04 am

This movie was pretty cool. Dont know why everyone is getting so bent out of shape out of a movie based on a cartoon.

*A movie based on a cartoon based on tiny action figures.

By: edifanob

edifanob — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 22:12:26 +0000

I live in Germany and G I JOE will hit the cinemas within this week. I watched the trailer and wanted to see the film. But I read several reviews including yours. AND they all are negative. So many reviewer can’t be wrong. Thank you for your frankly words. Now I know I will spend the money for another movie.

By: jravago

jravago — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 15:39:58 +0000

Thank you for saying what I was thinking.

By: pawn65

pawn65 — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:04:20 +0000

This movie was pretty cool. Dont know why everyone is getting so bent out of shape out of a movie based on a cartoon.

By: Joe

Joe — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 08:14:26 +0000

GI Joe the movie is awesome. it focuses mainly on nanotechnology. this movie should have been made a couple of years ago.

By: Brett

Brett — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 03:08:50 +0000

Fantastic review. I couldn’t even harness the plot from the commercials, and it looked like another piece of shit involving shotty special effects, blatant cleavage, and terrible spoof acting.

Your review confirmed that. Thanks. Another $20 I saved thus summer.

By: Spacekase

Spacekase — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 14:54:19 +0000

Snake Eyes was always my favorite Joe. As soon as I saw his mask in the previews, I knew this movie wasn’t for me. I’m being kind, I threw up in my mouth a little every time I saw the preview. The whole International Joe idea was just idiotic and a weak attempt to be pc.

By: Joshua Lew

Joshua Lew — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 03:56:39 +0000

Nice review, but is heavy on the spoiler territory. We don’t learn * spoiler warning * Rex is Cobra Commander until the very end and we also don’t learn that Rex is the doctor until 4/5ths of the movie is done, which is supposed to be the “twist”, however crappy, of the movie. Also, Zartan killing and replacing the president is the ending and last scene of the movie. * end of spoilers *

While people who will be watching GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra probably have already done so this past weekend, some who haven’t may not want some of, again I use the term loosely, “twists” known.

And yes the acting was extremely bad and Doctor Who’s Christopher Eccleston was in my opinion the worst of the bunch, his accent kept switching back and forth between Scottish and British.

Just my two cents and I apologize if the spoiler tag was already used in the review.

By: microhaus

microhaus — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 11:08:27 +0000

Ice floats. Hummer H2’s suck. The entire cast of The Mummy is not appropriate for EVERY film Particle accelerators and nanotechnology have nothing to do with eachother. The north pole is EXETREMELY cold. People who wear mask may simply be hiding their identity rather than disturbing and unsightly features. A person who has the gall to state the technology depicted in his movie will be available in the near future and then create a finale where the polar ice caps sink onto and destroy the underwater base is an asshole. Nanomites, no matter how incredible and unknowable to a shithead like Stephen Sommers, do not exponentially reproduce and expand out of a canister to consume whole cities. (Hell, why destroy infrastructure rather than people? Destroy the people your problem is over. Destroy their buildings and you will have millions of angry people out to get you.)

By: SketcH

SketcH — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 09:14:57 +0000

While I can’t say anything nearly as brutal as you have, I do agree with you about 89.9%!
I don’t completely agree with your take on Storm Shadow. Even though the character was well played, his back story with Snake Eyes was changed beyond belief. That would be fine for a uneducated filmgoer, but any G.I. Joe fan would gladly march up to the studio and kill the writers for that one.

Second, do your research. Road Block and Heavy Duty are completely two different people. In fact, they are cousins in the comics and cartoons. Maybe Road Block would have been a better choice for the film, but it would have been a lot worse to see some black dude rapping all through the movie. Trust me, I’m black… I know.

By: Ronan

Ronan — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 08:34:19 +0000

That is hands down the best review of a film I have ever read.