Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon – movie review

The Autobots aren’t here for the good of humanity; they’re here for the good of America. We catch up with them attacking a nuclear weapons facility in an unknown Middle Eastern country (probably Iran). Luckily, the Transformers’ political ideology closely mirrors our own, with Optimus Prime regularly spouting off declarations of freedom. Absurdities aside (and… Continue reading Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon – movie review

Fast Five Quits Reality, Goes Full Spectacle – Review

Fast Five is great, superb summer entertainment, and a fitting commemoration for the 10th anniversary of the original The Fast and the Furious.  Justin Lin has fashioned himself into a groundbreaking action director in the vein of Michael Bay, and delivers one of the most original action films in recent memory.  Considering the Fast and Furious… Continue reading Fast Five Quits Reality, Goes Full Spectacle – Review

Predators | movie review

Don’t believe all of the inexplicably great reviews for Predators; it is a seriously stupid movie.  Billed as a return to the greatness of the original Predator movie, this sequel comes off as a second-rate Avatar, where once entitled actors are brought low, and give bizarre and entertaining performances.  Adrien Brody is no Schwarzenegger; hell, he… Continue reading Predators | movie review

The Book of Eli – review

The Book of Eli is really great:  it’s got the apocalypse, it’s got all kinds of murder and death with blood and rolling heads, and it’s got Denzel Washington saying profound things and threats from the Bible.  Denzel is the titular Eli, roaming the wasted deserts of America with the last copy of the Bible in… Continue reading The Book of Eli – review

The Road | movie review

The Road is, unfortunately, a boring movie, and the title might as well be Sittin’ Round the Campfire. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy, is one of the very best books of the decade, and this adaptation falls flat for about half the running time. There are good actors, moments, and visuals, but the whole isn’t… Continue reading The Road | movie review

District 9 | Eli’s Plot Twist

District 9 is a revival of the good old days of R rated 80s and early 90s sci-fi action films.  This is a great movie, showing true originality, and delivering on its entertainment mandate.  District 9 avoids the pitfalls that rob many sci-fi flicks of their potential, including the poisonous PG-13 rating, the ubiquitous bad… Continue reading District 9 | Eli’s Plot Twist

Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen | Eli’s Plot Twist

Michael Bay is the mad hatter. Truly bizarre visions and creatures rule the screen for nearly two and a half hours. Also on display; epic scope, true summer blockbuster scale; Transformers 2 has everything, and delivers everything in a steady and rapid flash. Transformers’ commitment to portraying the U.S. Military as unerring heroes allows the… Continue reading Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen | Eli’s Plot Twist

‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’ | Movie Review

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is an epic catastrophe on every level, a confluence of poor ideas, poorer execution, and blinding stupidity. When faced with a celluloid abomination of this magnitude, a person must look back in time to the benchmark of horrible comic book film, Batman Forever, to find proper comparison. This movie is worse, attempting… Continue reading ‘X-Men Origins: Wolverine’ | Movie Review