Author: Eli Lipschutz

The Autobots aren’t here for the good of humanity; they’re here for the good of America. We catch up with them attacking a nuclear weapons facility in an unknown Middle Eastern country (probably Iran). Luckily, the Transformers’ political ideology closely mirrors our own, with Optimus Prime regularly spouting off declarations of freedom. Absurdities aside (and… Continue reading Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon – movie review

Fast Five is great, superb summer entertainment, and a fitting commemoration for the 10th anniversary of the original The Fast and the Furious.  Justin Lin has fashioned himself into a groundbreaking action director in the vein of Michael Bay, and delivers one of the most original action films in recent memory.  Considering the Fast and Furious… Continue reading Fast Five Quits Reality, Goes Full Spectacle – Review

Don’t believe all of the inexplicably great reviews for Predators; it is a seriously stupid movie.  Billed as a return to the greatness of the original Predator movie, this sequel comes off as a second-rate Avatar, where once entitled actors are brought low, and give bizarre and entertaining performances.  Adrien Brody is no Schwarzenegger; hell, he… Continue reading Predators | movie review

The Book of Eli is really great:  it’s got the apocalypse, it’s got all kinds of murder and death with blood and rolling heads, and it’s got Denzel Washington saying profound things and threats from the Bible.  Denzel is the titular Eli, roaming the wasted deserts of America with the last copy of the Bible in… Continue reading The Book of Eli – review

Avatar is a great film.  Here is a movie that will actually surprise you and offer things you have never seen before.  James Cameron has delivered a special effects powerhouse that is actually an extended acid trip in the jungle.  The human tech is underwhelming, so is the heavy-handed theme, but consider these as elements… Continue reading James Cameron’s Avatar | movie review

The Road is, unfortunately, a boring movie, and the title might as well be Sittin’ Round the Campfire. The Road, by Cormac McCarthy, is one of the very best books of the decade, and this adaptation falls flat for about half the running time. There are good actors, moments, and visuals, but the whole isn’t… Continue reading The Road | movie review

District 9 is a revival of the good old days of R rated 80s and early 90s sci-fi action films.  This is a great movie, showing true originality, and delivering on its entertainment mandate.  District 9 avoids the pitfalls that rob many sci-fi flicks of their potential, including the poisonous PG-13 rating, the ubiquitous bad… Continue reading District 9 | Eli’s Plot Twist

Don’t watch G.I. Joe, it’s about as appealing as an abortion.  This isn’t realistic/serious G.I. Joe, and it isn’t pure cartoon fun G.I. Joe.  No, this is a third variety; this is pure, unadulterated shit.  It’s hard to imagine how, with such a wealth of source material to cull from, a person could create something… Continue reading G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra | Eli’s Plot Twist

“Dom, your engine is throbbing!”  Fast and Furious is out on DVD, a trip back in time, to a simpler time, a time when Limp Bizkit was popular, and import racing was fresh and exciting and new!  The Fast and the Furious started an epic love story, between two men who were too fast to… Continue reading Fast and Furious | DVD Review

Michael Mann is the de facto king of cops and robbers city street shootouts. Public Enemies makes a nice shift to period piece old timey stuff with no loss in crisp edge. Few people can argue that Miami Vice was a misfire of epic proportion. The only bad thing left over from Vice is the… Continue reading Public Enemies | Eli’s Plot Twist

Michael Bay is the mad hatter. Truly bizarre visions and creatures rule the screen for nearly two and a half hours. Also on display; epic scope, true summer blockbuster scale; Transformers 2 has everything, and delivers everything in a steady and rapid flash. Transformers’ commitment to portraying the U.S. Military as unerring heroes allows the… Continue reading Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen | Eli’s Plot Twist

Pixar consistently delivers, to the point that any review of Up is more a measure of greatness, rather than a critique. Up matches the great craftsmanship and thoughtfulness Pixar is known for, upping the ante with seamless 3D integration and well framed daydreams. There is a heavier tone and theme this time around, and kids… Continue reading Pixar’s ‘Up’ | Movie Review

J.J. Abrams takes his place among the likes of James Cameron and Steven Spielberg to deliver the first true blockbuster of the summer. Top shelf special effects, epic space battles, and electric momentum make this a sci-fi classic in its own right, even outside the Star Trek canon. Abrams has real respect for Star Trek… Continue reading Star Trek (2009) | Movie Review